


Merle Highchurch and the Freedom of Choice

by onArete



Series: The Most Powerfully Magic Number [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Beauxbatons, Durmstrang, F/F, F/M, M/M, TAZ Balance, Taz at Hogwarts, Year 4, goblet of fire - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-09-23 16:35:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17083871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onArete/pseuds/onArete
Summary: Four years into Hogwarts, the fight between light and dark has not yet begun - but the sides are being determined every day.  In the middle of it all is Merle, busy sweet-talking plants, kissing his boyfriend, and trying to keep his family together as the world tries to tear them apart.





	1. Chrysanthemum for Long Life

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go here we go!! Merle's year is UP!

“You ready for this?” Merle asked, turning up to look at Lucretia.  The two of them stood at the front deck of the Starblaster, watching in the distance as Hogwarts slowly came into view in front of them.

She shrugged.  “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

He patted her on the hip; as high as he could reach.  She’d grown pretty tall, he noted, but he hadn’t. In fact, he was about as tall as he’d ever be.  “That’s good, Lucinda.”

She sighed, but Merle could see the hint of a smile on her lips.  Good.

“What’s goin’ on over here?” yelled Lup, running up to the two of them, wand tucked behind her ear, limbs tanner than ever from the summer sun.

“She’s quizzin’ me on the, ah, flora -” he winked “- at Hogwarts.”

“Gross!” shouted Lucretia, stepping away from him.

Lup caught her in a half-embrace, laughing.  “Grosserooni, old man! We don’t need to hear that!”

“We’re the same age,” he protested with a smile.  This right here - this happy confidence, this gentle ribbing - yes, this was family if Merle had ever known it.

“Cap’nport’s looking for you,” Lup told him.

“Hm,” he said, glancing off of the ship again.

“If you don’t come,” Lucretia added, spark of mirth in her eyes. “We’ll go tell him that you’re dealing weed to the first years.”

“Hey!  I deal drugs responsibly!”

“Who’s dealing drugs?”

The three of them turned.  On the far end of the deck stood Davenport, resplendent in red uniform, orange hair blazing in the summer sun.  

Merle felt his heart skip a little.

Stop it, heart, he thought.  

His heart, as hearts are wont to do, did not listen.

“Merle,” said Lup, like a traitor.

Davenport just smiled.  “Glad to know I’ve got a dealer who’ll give me a good deal.”

Lup blustered, Lucretia grinned, and the two girls -  _ his  _ girls, practically - wandered off of the deck.

“You needed me?” he asked the Captain, doing his very best to disguise the way that he felt all warm inside whenever he was around.

He nodded.  “We’re getting ready to land, and I need you to go check on the rest of the kids - um, the crew - and make sure everyone’s ready.”

Merle smiled at him and winked.  “Sure thing.”

\---

He wandered through the Starblaster, poking his head into the rooms.  Kitchen - empty. Living room - not. Barry and Taako sat on the floor, a thick sheaf of papers in front of them, quills and thick textbooks spread all over the carpet.

“We’re landing,” Merle told them.

“UGH,” Taako shouted.

Barry just half-smiled, and started grabbing as many books as he could reach from his seated position.

“C’mon, get up,” Merle urged, moving behind Taako and trying to hoist him to his feet.

Given that Taako was taller than he, and also had no desire to stand up, it was a futile effort that ended with Taako eagle-spread on the floor, and Merle sitting down, too.

“I got this, Merle,” said Barry, very slowly tugging a piece of parchment out from under Taako.  “Once things get boring in here, he’ll get up.”

“No, I won’t,” said Taako, staring up at the ceiling.  “Fuck you, Barold.”

Barry hummed a little.  “Gotta say I prefer your sister.”

“Why did you say that??!” he shrieked, sitting up and scrambling towards Merle.  “No, you deal with him, you two can be gross together, goodbye -” he rushed out of the door “- Taako has  _ left the room _ !”

“Well, we’re landing,” Merle said again.

Barry slid a stack of textbooks into his arms, tall enough that he could barely see over them.  “Cool.”

\---

Magnus’s room was empty, and so were Barry’s and Lup’s.  Merle hummed a little as he wandered down the hallway.

He didn’t bother knocking on Taako’s door as he swung it open.  Inside, though, wasn’t Taako - there stood Magnus, clutching some clothes to his chest, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

“Grand theft Taako,” he mouthed, holding a finger to his mouth in a shh gesture.  “For the Solstice Festival.”

Merle nodded.  “We’re landing,” he said, at a perfectly normal sound level.

“Who’re you talking to?” shouted Taako’s distant voice.

“Fuck!” Magnus yelled, and darted out of Taako’s room.

Merle shrugged, and tugged the door closed as Taako burst out of the bathroom, glaring at him.  “You better not be poking around in my shit.”

“Nah,” he said, and turned to the next door.

Taako shot him suspicious look, and popped open his own door, and stepped inside.

\---

Merle pulled upon Lucretia’s door.  Both she and Lup were in there, and she shrieked a little as the door popped open, and jumped away from the other girl.

“Can you fucking  _ knock _ ?” asked Lup, wiping her mouth a little.  “We were in the middle of something.”

“Nope.”

“What do you want?” asked Lucretia, whose words were calm for all that she was blushing furiously.

“Just comin’ to tell you we’re landing, so get up on deck.”

Lup looked between him and Lucretia slowly, like she was measuring something.  “How quickly?”

“How the hell should I know?”

She shrugged at him.  “Go figure it out. We’ll be here.”

Merle rolled his eyes, smiling.  “Nah, just come up.”

“We’ll be there in a sec,” she shouted as he walked out of the room.  “And, hey! Close the door!”

He didn’t.

“Fuck you!” Lup yelled.

“Didn’t know you were into our dad,” he heard Lucretia say, and he could hear the smile in her voice.

“Nah, babe, just you,” Lup replied, and the door slammed shut again.

So, maybe two out of the five kids were coming up.  A success!

\---

“Merle!” Taako yelled as he made his way back towards the deck.  “Where the  _ fuck  _ is my hat?”

He shrugged.  “Aren’t you wearing it?”

“No!” he shouted.  “This is my  _ purple  _ hat, where’s my  _ green  _ hat?!”

“I don’t have it.”

“Then who does?!”

He just waddled around him.  “C’mon up to the deck.”

“No!”

\---

When Merle made it out here, he found Davenport, Barry, Magnus, and Lup.  Pretty good, he figured.

“Okay, crew,” said their Captain with a nod his direction.  “Are Lucretia and Taako coming?”

“Taako’s upset cause someone stole his hat.  The green one,” Merle offered.

Magnus immediately looked guilty.

“Creesh’s on her way,” said Lup breezily.  “And Taako’ll show. He’ll just be pissy about it.”

“I can fucking hear you,” said Taako as he ascended the stairs, looking extremely grumpy about it.  “Betrayed by my onliest twin. Lost and abandoned -”

“Thanks, Taako,” said Barry.

He stuck out his tongue, and Lucretia came up.  “What’s going on?”

“Taako’s -”

“Don’t -”

“Meeting,” said Davenport loudly, and the crew rustled and shifted but quieted down.

“Okay everybody, thanks,” he said, standing a little straighter.  “We’re going to be landing in the Forbidden Forest in a couple of minutes here, and we need to have a quick briefing about this year.”

“Shoot,” said Lup, jumping up to sit perched on the railing.

He sighed a little, but smiled.  “Thanks, Lup. Okay. I’ve talked to Headmaster Dumbledore, and Hogwarts will be hosting a trischool competition today, entry to which is determined by age.  Listen to me, all of you -  _ nobody can put their name in _ .  We  _ cannot  _ let the schools know that we are older than fourteen, do you understand me?”

And he looked through the crew, one by one, until they all nodded.  Lup shot him finger guns. Merle winked, and he blushed a little.

“We also need to be perfectly hospitable to the other schools,” he continued.  “We... we know that a conflict is brewing on this plane. Lucretia, do you want to sum it up?”

She looked faintly nervous, but spoke steadily.  “Sure, Captain. Many families - the Dark familie, or the Death Eaters - supported Lord Voldemort in his last reign of terror.  The majority of those families have children in Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and attending the school Durmstrang. However, they are everywhere.  There’s also a neutral group of those students who want no part in the conflict, and I, ah, I have an  _ in  _ with them.  A conflict is expected to break out over Harry Potter and Voldemort’s possible return within the next few years.”

“Please tell me there’s a good side,” Magnus begged.

“Yes, there is,” she told him, and he grinned.  “They’re headed by Headmaster Dumbledore, and called the Order of the Phoenix.  Their supporters are in all houses, but tend to be in Gryffindor.”

“Yes,” Magnus whispered rather loudly, and did a little fist pump.  “I’m on the good side.”

“This is exactly what we need to talk about,” Davenport interjected.  “If we are to be effective at all in helping the good side, as it were - or, indeed, in helping any of the students at all - we cannot all be for the Order.  It simply isn’t logical. As such, we need to, shall we say... split our choices a little bit.”

“Death Eaters for ch’boy,” said Taako.

Lup glanced over at him, nervous.  “Taako, I -”

“Hey, Lulu.  It makes sense.  Me’n a Ravenclaw can take them, you Gryffs can take the Order or some shit, and everybody else can go neutral.  Simple.”

“We don’t need to decide right now,” Davenport said, gathering their attention back to him. “But it’s something to think about.  And, while you think, work on making, shall we say..  _ Alliances _ .  Make friends with the kids in your house, make friends with their friends.”

“That’s a good idea,” offered Merle.  “But we need to meet more. Say, Thursday nights in the Hufflepuff commons?”

He nodded.  “Yeah, let’s... let’s do that.”

“Hands in the middle,” shouted Lup, shoving her hand forward.  “Starblaster on three!”

The others dutifully piled their hands up, Davenport on his tiptoes to reach the top of the pile.

“One! Two! Three!”

“Starblaster!” they chorused, and broke apart.

Merle stood with his family and watched as Davenport brought their ship to a quiet landing in the middle of the Forbidden Forest.


	2. Orchid for Children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A water fight. Also, Merle and Davenport talk, Barry gets a dad, and everyone returns home.

The Forbidden Forest really wasn’t at it best that time of year.  The summer had left it high and dry, every plant and animal desperately searching for water.  The edges of the green leaves had turned a crackling brown. Bone-dry sticks crunched underfoot.

Merle sighed.  It was just part of life, he knew, but that didn’t mean he liked to watch death happen all around him.

As the crew of the Starblaster hiked, ran, waddled, and complained their way out of the forest, Merle turned to face some of the tallest trees.  They were deep and gnarled, trunks wide and reaching. They’d survived for a long time without his help, and they’d survive without him for another few hundred years, so long as they got the light out of this cycle okay.

Instead of aiding the giants of the forest, Merle pointed his wand downward, to some of the smaller scrubby bushes.  The tips of an aspiring tree or two poked hopefully out, searching for sky.

“Aguamenti!” He smiled as a cascade of water erupted from the tip of his wand and onto the plants.

“Fuck you!” Taako shrieked, and Merle smiled even more.  

“Please tell me you didn’t aim for us,” said Davenport, moving out of the brush and wringing out one of his coattails.  “Merle, please tell me that.”

He just raised his eyebrows.  “That’s for me to know, and you to not know.”

“And you to find out,” said Lucretia from further away.  “The phrase is ‘and you to find out’.”

“Eh.”  He waved a lazy hand.  “Close enough.”

Davenport rolled his eyes, but caught his hand in the air.  “Shall we, Chief Botanist Highchurch?”

Merle grinned.  “Oh, we shall, Captain Davenport.”

Hand in hand, they strolled towards the rest of the crew - and were promptly soaked themselves, as Taako and Lup cackled in the background.

Davenport glared up at them.  “You understand that this means war.”

Lup stuck out her tongue.  “Aw, c’mon, Cap’n-”

A jet of water hit her in the face.  She screamed, and ducked behind Barry, shoving him towards Davenport and Merle.

“I’ll avenge you,” said Lucretia with a grin, and shot her own jet of water their direction.

\---

They were soaking wet, covered in mud, and grinning like fools by the time they finally trundled up to Hogwarts.  Merle was holding Davenport’s hand, and he plucked a leaf out of his hair. They’d had a lot of good times together, their little family.  A lot of good times.

\---

“Everyone go straight to your common rooms and get changed into your Hogwarts stuff,” said Davenport as they neared the front entrance.  “Remember, we’re foreign exchange students from America. Only Snape, McGonagall, and Dumbledore know otherwise.”

“Yeah, yeah, we got you,” Lup replied, waving a hand in the air.  “We haven’t fucked it up in the past three years, I’m sure we’ll survive.”

“Hey,” Barry said.  “School doesn’t start until tomorrow.  We don’t have to wear our uniforms yet, right?”

“You never wear your uniform!” Magnus barked with a smile.  “I don’t remember seeing bluejeans on the list!”

Seventy years previous, Merle was certain that Barry would have balked and blushed and stammered an excuse for himself before running about as far away as he could get.  Instead, all he did was smile and say, “It’s in the name. Gotta stick to that.”

Magnus nodded in agreement.  “Makes sense.”

“Besides, I know you magic on your sideburns,” said Taako with the air of someone telling a great secret.

Merle laughed as Magnus gasped.  “Lies!” he shouted. “I won’t stand for that!  These are my sideburns! One hundo percent natural!”

“Can we please go inside?” asked Lucretia, completely deadpan as she stood over the two mock-fighting boys.  “Can we  _ please  _ go inside?”

Lup laced her arm through Lucretia’s.  “Anything for you dear.”

Raising an eyebrow of his own, Merle offered his arm to Davenport.  The gnome smiled and took it, tugging them closer together. “What a gentleman, walking me to my door.”

“I’ll walk you  _ though  _ that door if you want.”

“You know we’re like fourteen, right?” asked Barry from behind them.

Merle flipped him off, and Davenport laughed.

\---

He loved the Starblaster, he really did.  He loved the shiny silver slope of the hull, the way it had glistened back home on Tosun V under the light of two purple suns.  He loved the way his plants had migrated from his room, to the kitchen, to the hallway, back to his room, and so on. He loved his crew, loved the way they danced around each other in a way more familiar than any he’d ever experienced.

The Starblaster was Merle’s home, no question about it.

And yet there was something so homey, so nostalgic, about returning to Hogwarts.  There was something about the air, he thought, or perhaps the heavy stone walls, and the portraits that would sit and talk for hours.  No matter who you were, you were always welcome at the school. You were always wanted.

“You’re being awfully quiet,” Davenport noted as they neared the Ravenclaw tower.

Merle shrugged.  “What, can’t a guy be introspective without being called out?”

“Mm... no.”

They smiled in unison.  “I’m just thinking about being back here.”

“Feels good, huh?”

Merle raised an eyebrow.

Davenport sighed, looking away to hide a blush he already knew was there.  “I meant being... almost home.”

“Yeah,” he agreed as they trundled up to the eagle knocker.  “It’s funny, ya know? The ship’s been home for, hell, seventy years, and now, it’s almost like we’ve got another one.  Weird, that.”

“I don’t think it’s just the castle,” said Davenport, turning on his heel as they stopped.  “I think it might just be a person.”

It was Merle’s turn to pretend that he wasn’t blushing.  “Oh?”

“I think a person can be a lot more like home than any place ever could.”

He leaned forward on his tiptoes, and brushed a kiss across Merle’s cheek, and disappeared inside the door.

Fuck.

Merle blushed his way back downstairs to the Hufflepuff dormitory.

\---

He tapped the barrel a few times, and the pile slid aside to let him in.  “Thanks, Hoggy,” he said absentmindedly. Never hurt to thank the castle.

The Hufflepuff common room was mostly untouched.  Same cushy couches, same round porthole-style windows, same portrait of Helga Hufflepuff over the fireplace.  Someone had been watering the plants that he’d left strewn about for the other students to enjoy.

Merle made his way across the room, duffel bag on his shoulder towards a tall orchid.  “Hello there,” he crooned to it. “I hope you’ve been thanking whoever watered you.”

The flower didn’t respond, which was good because he hadn’t cast Speak to Plants. Instead, it just seemed to blossom a brighter purple.  He brushed a finger over the petals.

“I don’t need to see that,” said a voice from behind him.

Merle turned, pushing up his glasses.

Barry.

He was wearing his shirt and tie - tied incorrectly - with his standard pair of bluejeans.

“Well, don’t be lookin’!”

He shrugged.  “Don’t do it in the commons, then.”

Merle shook his head, and walked over to  his son him.  Barry bent down and let him fix his tie.

“Sorry, Da- Merle, I tried,” he said.

Merle shook his head.  “Try harder, then!”

Barry laughed, and shouldered his bag as Merle finished fixing his tie. 

“You headed out?”

“Yep.”

“Where?”

“I was gonna go check back in with Professor Vector, talk to her about some of the calculations I did over the summer -”

“Curfew’s nine, young man.”

He laughed, which was good.  Merle hadn’t seen him laugh nearly enough the past few cycles.

“When you’re older than I am, Merle, I’ll let you set my curfew.”

“But I am!”

He laughed all the way out of the common room, leaving Merle grinning behind him.  His family didn’t always do the best job of finding the little happy things about their crazy life.

He shouldered his bag, and walked across the colorful rag rugged-floor towards his dorm room.  If they didn’t do it, well, that was a job he was perfectly happy to accept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of you lovely people for reading!! I love you guys!


	3. Anemone for Anticipation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew goes to Diagon Alley. Merle runs into some interesting creatures in the Forbidden Forest. The Sorting Feast.

Merle was woken the next morning by somebody poking his face.  Naturally, he did the only thing there was to do in such a situation - poke them back.

“Get up, Merle,” said a voice that sounded very much like Barry’s.

“Nuh uh,” he protested, rolling over.

“Merle.  We gotta go.”

“Where’re we goin’?”

“Diagon Alley.  We need new stuff for school.”

“Don’ wanna...”

“If you stay here, I let Taako pick out your stuff.”

“Mph.”

He felt the blankets get ripped back, and Barry shriek a little.  “Why are you sleeping - actually, I don’t care, just get dressed.”

He got up slowly, and got dressed slowly, and slowly trundled his way out to the common room where Barry stood, holding his bag.  “You ready?”

“Ugh.”

“Great.”

“‘S too early.”

“It’s nine.”

“It’s too late, then.”

Barry rolled his eyes.  “C’mon, have you read your letter yet?  We’re supposed to get dress robes this year.”

“For that competition thingy?”

Barry put on his thinking face, and pushed his glasses further up his nose.  “Huh. I... yeah, that makes sense.”

Merle bowed a little.  He wasn’t really all that tired, but it was fun to poke fun at Barry about it.

“So anythin’ else cool on the list?  Any new... plants?”

“Ew,” said Barry, his expression remaining perfectly constant.  “Just the robes, and a few new textbooks. Anything else you need.  I need to stock up on some gryhpon’s blood, Professor Vector and I are planning to test out a few sigils this year -”

Merle let him trail off about whatever nerdy math thing he liked that he had no hope of understanding.  He smiled and nodded in most of the right places. He was doing his best.

\---

They took McGonagall’s floo to Diagon Alley, tumbling out of the fireplace in a pile of smoke and ash.  Dodging under the curious glances of patrons - long lived or not, they certainly looked their fourteen years - the seven of them quickly hurried into the alley proper.

Merle sighed a little.  If the Starblaster was home, and Hogwarts was a close second, then Diagon Alley was the cool vacation home he didn’t learn about till he went to the Institute.  A world far removed from the Pan Enclave, where people were rich and went to their cabins every summer instead of to the same religious camp every neighborhood kid went to.

But, hey.  He couldn’t complain.  Greg and his Grimaldis Cabin hadn’t made it in the crew, so who was he to judge?

Well.  If you asked Merle, he was  _ very qualified  _ to judge.  The guy was a dick.

\---

“Okay, everybody,” said Davenport, pulling them out of the main road in a cluster.  “Splitting up. Lup, Lucretia, and Barry, do you want to start with the robes?”

“Fuck yes,” said Lup, extending a hand for a fist bump.

Davenport stared at it for a second, before fist bumping her back.

“See ya, nerds!” she called behind her as she dragged her partners further into the crowd.

“Fuck you!” Taako shouted after her.  A few middle-aged people glared at him disapprovingly.  Merle glared right back at the middle-aged people.

“Magnus and Taako, want to start with books?” he continued.

Magnus sighed.  “I wanted to go to the pet store, though.”

Taako made a face, as though he had just suggested that he  _ move into  _ the pet store.  “You can go there fucking  _ later _ ,  _ without me _ .”

They disappeared into the throngs of people.

“Guess that just leaves you and me, skipper,” said Merle.

Davenport smiled.  “Oh, no. Bad planning on my part, I suppose.”

“Guess it’s a date, then?”

He took his hand, and words weren’t needed as they wound their way through the swarm of magical peoples towards the quill shop.

\---

Due to the un-pan-ly amount of people who’d thought that day was a great day to get their school shopping done, the alley was crazy crowded, and it took Merle and Davenport the better part of the day to get what they needed.

“Just robes left,” said Davenport with an aura of defeat as they ducked under an armload of cauldrons to get across the road.

“Don’t sound so excited,” Merle laughed, elbowing him a little.

“I’m tired and there’s too many people here,” he said, shifting the bags in his hands.  “I’m just ready to go back.”

“Well, then let’s go back!”

“We can’t, we need to get robes -”

“Fuck robes!” he replied cheerfully.  “We can always come back tomorrow, or before we need them.  And what if styles change? You know Taako’ll want to come back anyway, we can always tag along.”

Davenport protested, but allowed himself to be led back towards the Leaky Cauldron and into the floo and back into Hogwarts.

They walked in silence towards the Ravenclaw tower.  The distant sounds of wind and water echoed off of the stone halls of the castle.

“Thanks, Merle,” he said as they opened the door.  “I... it means a lot. Coming back with me.”

“Of course,” he said, shifting his bags into one hand.  “Anything for you.”

Davenport blushed.  “That’s cheesy.”

“Hey,” said Merle with a shrug, taking half a step closer.  “I’m just living my truth.”

He laughed a little, and they met in a chaste kiss before he disappeared into the tower.

\---

With only one day remaining before the school year properly began, Merle figured he’d better go check in with Sprout.  Make sure she’d kept his honking daffodils alive over the summer. Figure out a good spot to grow a secret stash of weed.  You know, the basics.

He took the long way there after breakfast, looping outside the castle and along the bank of the Black Lake.  No need to rush it, after all.

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the Whomping Willow was rustling ominously.  And, in the distance... was something  _ roaring _ ?

Huh.  That wasn’t normal.  

Merle turned a little, following the sound into the Forbidden Forest.  Sure, there were a lot of groaning noises and strange shaking trees, but that was just forests for you.  Had their own personality.

Finally, he spilled out of the foliage into a large clearing, alive with activity.  Everywhere people were rushing about. Magicking up fences, pushing away trees, handling - handling sleeping  _ dragons. _

Merle shrugged.  He’d seen much, much weirder.

As long as he told Dav about it when he got home, it wasn’t really anything to worry about.

Leaving the clearing of dragons and their handlers well behind him, Merle walked back out of the Forbidden Forest, and towards the greenhouses.  After all, he had things to do.

\---

The Sorting Feast was pretty wet, all things considered, although not even in the way that was easy to crack jokes about it.  Almost everybody but the Starblaster crew came inside dripping with rain, puddling across the stone floor. 

Merle was very glad that his feet were too short to touch the floor from the bench.

The feast went pretty well, all things considered.  No trolls in the dungeon or anything similar. Hufflepuff got a whole bevy of first years who all looked appropriately terrified, anyway.

Sitting next to him in a badly-tied yellow tie, Barry leaned up to his side.  “Who’s the new defense teacher?” he hissed.

Merle shrugged.  “Why would I know?” he asked, loudly.

Half of the teachers glared at him, but he just grinned right back.

Barry opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by a resounding boom through the Great Hall.

The students spun to see who had flung open the door.  Merle stood on his chair to try and see who’d opened the door.

And, huh.  That was odd.

A old and wizened man stalked in.  He had a peg leg and a scowl and one magic blue electric eye.

Merle wolf whistled.

The teachers glared at him again, but all the man did was laugh a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me- "Wow, Merle's perspective is hard. How should I write him?"  
> My friend- "Say the dirtiest thing you can think of but make him likeable"


	4. Freesia for Thoughtfulness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Classes begin! Lup takes a trip to the Hospital Wing. Davenport sets up some chaos in Divination. Merle thinks about life, and death, and choices.

The first class of the day was Herbology, which was good, because Merle had found a nice little nook behind Greenhouse 4 that got just the right amount of shade to grow his weed.  The class was squeezing bubotuber pus, though, and the innuendo possibilities were just too good to ignore and go cultivate some drugs.

“So, Lup,” he said, grabbing a bowl for the pus.  “What do you think about all of these...  _ tubers _ ?”

“Fuck off,” she replied cheerfully without even looking at him.

Merle plopped the bowl in front of her.  “Y’know,” he said in as gravelly a voice as he could muster.  “I know quite a bit about this sort of...  _ topic _ .”

On Lup’s other side, Barry glanced over at him.  “You’re our dad,” he said mildly. “I don’t need nor want to hear this.”

Magnus, one more person down, quirked an eyebrow and slung an arm around Barry’s shoulders.  “But are you  _ sure _ , Barold?”

Merle waggled his eyebrows at the two of them.

Lup pointed her bubotuber at Merle and squeezed as hard as she could, grinning.

A good amount got on him.  But it absolutely  _ drenched  _ Lup-- and, to a lesser extend, Barry and Magnus.  For a moment, the class went completely still, staring at the spectacle that was the four of them.

Lup, staring down at her hands in wide-eyed shock, yellow pus dripping from her robes and newly-dyed pink hair.  Behind her, Barry slowly wiped off his glasses on his tie. Sure, Merle could taste the puss in his mouth, but all he could do was sit and laugh.

They got sent to the Hospital Wing, but it was absolutely worth it.

“No, it wasn’t,” Barry protested when Merle made that known.

“Mm-hmm,” agreed Lup, whose face had started to swell up even though she’d done her best to wipe most of it off.

“They really need, like, one of those eye wash things,” Magnus said, gesturing wildly.  “You know, the ones that you pop the lid, and then, ph-shaaaaaaw! There’s water all over the class.  I did that in a science class once for a soda, and everyone was working on an essay, holy  _ shit  _ it was amazing-- water all over the floor--”

“You’re banned from the Starblaster Lab until forever,” Lup told him, words half-muffled.

Barry just looked on in almost horrified fascination.  “What happened to the room?”

He pouted.  “Eventually they figured out you could bend it and make it just go into the sink.  It was  _ awesome _ , though.”

Merle patted his hip.  “I believe you.”

Lup spun so she was walking backwards and glaring at them.  She had a leaf in her hair, but Merle figured it was better to probably not point that out.  “Nobody asked you,” she shot at htim. “It’s your fault my face is all swelly! Swolly! Swo--”

“Uh, swollen?” Barry suggested.

“Yeah, that!”

\---

After they’d all gotten mostly de-contaminated-- although Lup had to stay for another few hours to make sure she didn’t have any further effects, much to her dismay-- they were released from the Hospital Wing.

He wandered off to the Divination tower.  Lucretia and Dav had the class with him, and although they didn’t do much more than poke fun at Trelawney, it was a hell of a fun class.  Mostly because he spent most of it flirting, or dropping teacups.

Merle was out of breath before he made it to the top of the staircase.  Thankfully, there was still a crowd of students waiting at the bottom of the ladder for their turn to climb up and into the classroom proper.

He found himself in line behind Lucretia.

“Hey there, Lucille,” he said to her.

She turned with a smile, rolling her eyes.

“Your eyes’re gonna stick like that,” Merle threatened, rising up on his tiptoes in an entirely futile effort to be taller than her. 

“And then what,” she replied, completely deadpan, “They’ll stick me in a museum as an alien?  That ship done sailed.”

He cackled, drawing a few weird looks from the other students around them.

Lucretia sighed, grinning.  “Are you ready to, ahem, “read the future?” she asked, sketching air quotes with her fingers.

Merle winked at her.  “There’s a pretty lady in front of me, I already know what my future holds.”

She swatted the back of his head half-heartedly.  “Fuck off, we’re both gay.”

“Hey,” he protested.  “I’m  _ pan _ , thank you very much--”

“And I’m  _ ace _ ,” she mimicked.  “We’re both hella homoromantic.”

“That sounds like an excuse,” he joked as she began to climb the ladder.

“Oh, haven’t you heard?” her voice drifted down from above him as Merle hopped up.  “I’m a walking, talking excuse of an excuse.”

\---

The classroom was crowded, chaotic, full of smoke and incense so thick that if he’d had any less hardy dwarven lungs Merle would’ve choked on it-- like the rest of the classroom seemed to be doing.

He followed Lucretia as they wound their way through the poofy chairs and colorful rugs and stained tablecloth tables towards Davenport.  He had his wand out, and was in the process of opening one of the higher-up windows.

Merle was close enough by the time he cast his next spell to feel a rush of cool air across his skin as the lower-down smoke began to drift along the wind Dav’d created up and out of the window.

He’d blame the chill air for the goosebumps.

“So, I say this year we pretend to try,” Davenport suggested under his breath.  “Sit up front, raise our hands, all that jazz.”

Lucretia looked delighted, and Merle the same.

“And just fuck it up as much as possible!?” he exclaimed, drawing a few bemused, scandalized, and confused glances from the other kids.

“Yup,” she responded.  “Also, tone it down, there’s actual children in here.”

“Children, schmildren,” Merle grumbled as they claimed a table near the front of the classroom.

\---

The next day Hufflepuff had Defense Against the Dark Arts.  They’d never had it all by themselves-- just their year, their house-- but Merle wasn’t too worried.  He’d never been much of a worrier, and that didn’t seem like anything to get worked up about.

He was wrong, as it turned out.

Mad-Eye Moody did have a pretty cool eye.  He seemed like he was trying to roll intimidation on their class when he barged in, but Merle had spent years chatting with Literal Nihilism and Depression.  This was just a cool guy with a magic eye.

If he ever lost an eye, merle thought, he’d pray to Pan that fancy magic eye stuff existed on the plane where he lost it.  If not, well... what about an  _ eyepatch  _ with just  _ another eye on it _ ? Or, no, the Superman logo-- or even  _ better _ , and owl.   

That’d be a hoot.

Merle chuckled quietly to himself as the class silenced and Moody took over in the front.  He told the class to put away his books, which was great, as Merle hadn’t bothered to pull his out.

And then, the Imperius curse.  Kind of like Command, but, well... worse.

And then Cruciatus.  The class didn’t like that one, which made sense.  They hadn’t grown up being taught offensive spells just as much as other ones.

But then, the killing curse.

It made even Merle catch his breath.  One bolt of sickly green and then nothing-- life to death, existence to eternal emptiness.  It didn’t even account for hit points!

He’d never considered himself to be particularly  _ moral _ , cleric though he was.  But a spell like that-- a curse like that--

Merle believe in choice above all else.  You’re the only you that exists, and you’re the only one who can fully choose for yourself.  That doesn’t belong to anybody else. It simply cannot.

But a spell like that stole the choice just as much as it stole the life out of a body.

At least with Tosun V’s offensive spells, they didn’t always hit.  They hardly ever killed with one blow. They were never a one and done kind of thing.

But this?

This was a life-stealing curse.  Merle couldn’t help but wonder if it’s choice-stealing was the worse crime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys: oh god "the freedom of choice", shit i'm getting nervous  
> my notes before beginning this installment: merle's gay and also a dad, also stuff happens too i guess  
> I'm working on it yall I'm working on it


	5. Daisy for Loyalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Durmstrang and Beauxbatons arrive at Hogwarts. The Halloween Feast. Lup makes a disturbing realization.

The students from Durmstrang and Beauxbatons arrived on Halloween.  Merle was squeezed in tight with the Hufflepuff fourth years, staring directly at Susan Bone’s shoulders.  He was far too short to see much of anything, but that was ok. They were just kids, much as he’d like to blame them for all being taller than him.

The crowd gasped, staring up at the sky.  Merle half-heartedly tilted his head back to see what they were gawking at.

Oh, huh.  A flying carriage.

For all the students were freaking out about it, you’d think they’d never seen anything in the sky.  

Next to him, Barry whispered, “It’s kinda not the same after the Starblaster, huh?”

Merle elbowed him in the gut, as high as he could easily reach.  “Shh!” he said, completely unnecessarily over the roar of students.

Durmstrang rose from the lake, which was kinda cool.  But they seemed like jerks, really, even though their headmaster-- from the little he can see when up on his tiptoes-- looks a little like John.  Something... meaner about his eyes, though.

Merle decided then and there that he didn’t trust him.  But that didn’t mean his students are all the same assholes that he was.

Dumbledore was talking, going on about something unimportant, welcoming them to the school.  Merle shifted where he stood, feet grinding against half-crushed blades of grass.

“Are they almost done yet?” he asked Barry, voice a little louder than necessary.  Professor McGonagall shot the two of them a  _ look _ .

It would’ve been more intimidating, probably, had Merle not spent seventy-odd years getting  _ looks  _ from Dav, Luce, Taako, Lup...

He’d built up an immunity.

Barry blushed a little bit, but didn’t otherwise react.  Merle was proud of him.

“They’re going inside,” he hissed down to him.  “Dinner.”

“It’s about time!”

Barry kicked his ankle, lightly.  “Shh.”

“Hey!” Merle protested, even louder.

Barry just sighed, a smile creeping through as they followed the mass of students back into Hogwarts and into the Great Hall.

\---

Filch carried in the bejewelled coffin with great aplomb.  When Dumbledore named it the Goblet of Fire, Lup leaned back from her bench at the Gryffindor table, poking Merle in the shoulder.  “I want that,” she hissed.

“Why?”

“ _ Fire _ , Merle, come on.”

Sitting next to him, Barry chuckled a little, then glanced at the goblet again.  “I bet we could make a better one.”

“Make a better what?” asked Magnus loudly, a few seats down the Gryffindor table.  McGonagall and a prefect hushed him in unison: he didn’t seem bothered.

“A fiery cup,” Lup replied, not bothering to be quiet.

“Shh!” said McGonagall again.

“I could make a cup!” Magnus offered, seeming excited.

“And I could do the fire-- actually, no, a fire cup is stupid as fuck, let’s do something  _ cool _ \--”

“Ms. Youknow-Fromtivi!” McGonagall shouted.  “Mr. Burnsides!”

“Sorry, Mc-Gee,” Lup shouted back.

From his owl-esque podium-- wow, owls were pretty cool, Merle thought-- Dumbledore twinkled down at them.  Magnus stuck his tongue out at the Headmaster, blew a raspberry. Next to Merle, Barry buried his head in the crook of his elbow to muffle his laughs.

“Detention, Burnsides, You-know-Fromtivi!” McGonagall said.

\---

“Cedric Diggory’s gonna put his name in!” Hannah Abbott tells Merle as they make their way back to the Hufflepuff dormitory.

“Good for him,” Merle said, a little out of breath from the stairs.

“I hope he gets it,” she confided.  “He’s Quidditch captain, and prefect, and--”

“And a Hufflepuff!”

“Yeah, exactly!” 

The two of them shared a moment of house pride before Merle kind of laughed.  “That’d be cool, but this is all to draw people together, y’know? Not make us all uppity about houses and shit-- uh, stuff-- like that.”

Hannah rolled her eyes a little: fourteen years old in both body and mind.  “It’d still be cool to have a Hufflepuff do something like that. We  _ never  _ get to be the heroes.”

“Well, what’s stopping you?”

She actually stopped walking, looked over (and down) at Merle.  Curious. Afraid. “I’m a  _ Hufflepuff _ .”

“So?”

“We’re patient and hard-working and loyal, Merle, we’re not brave or cunning or whatnot?”

“Well, why not?”

She hesitated, confused.  “...why not what?”

“Why aren’t you patient and loyal and hard-whatever and also brave and cunning?  You’re not just three things, Helena--”

“Hannah.”

“Yeah, Harmonica.  Your house-- Hufflepuff-- it’s great, it really is!  But it’s not everything, y’know?”

She shrugged.  “I just don’t feel brave.”

Merle laughed, guffawed.  “I don’t think anybody  _ ever  _ does, Harriet!  It’s all about doing what you need to anyway.  You don’t have to  _ feel  _ brave to  _ be  _ brave.”

“It’s Hannah.”  She paused as they tapped the barrels and stepped inside the common room.  “But, uh... thanks, Merle.”

“No problemo!”

\---

The Halloween Feast was just as great and grand as it had been every year since they’d arrived on the Plane of Magic.  Across the hall, Lup and Barry and Lucretia had dressed up as their respective house animals-- a lion, a badger, and an eagle.  They’d persuaded (read: Lup bullied) Taako into dressing up as a snake to match them.

Magnus was doing his usual Grand Theft Taako.  He wore the stolen green hat, and seemed to be purposefully avoiding Taako’s angry glares.

Merle himself had squeezed into a slightly too-tight red uniform, resplendent with rows of cords and patches and things that probably meant Davenport was a great captain, not that he knew what they meant.  Sitting next to him, Dav was  _ rocking  _ a fake beard and floral shirt.  Merle had almost lost it when he started trying to preach the Good Word of Pan to him.

“You know,” he remarked as the dessert courses popped up out of nowhere.  “I think the kids turned out alright.”

Davenport laughed.

\---

“Merle!” shouted Lup, shoving her way through a group of Ravenclaw sixth-years to race to his side.  “Merle, please tell me you didn’t know. Please, Merle, please--”

“Huh?  What’s wrong, Lola?”

“Fuck off, Merle, this is  _ important _ !”  Her eyes were glassy with anger and repressed tears.

Shit.

Merle took Lup by the elbow, guided her down the hall and away from the group of curious students.  

“Hey, uh, Hoggy,” he murmured to the ceiling.  “Could we get an empty room or somethin’?”

A door that certainly hadn’t been there a second before sprung into being just in front of them.  Merle shoved it open, pulled Lup through, murmured his thanks to the castle.

“So, what’s up?” he asked as she perched on the edge of a dusty desk.

“ _ House elves _ ,” she bit out, staring directly at him.  “Merle,  _ house elves _ keep Hogwarts clean and cook the food and shit.  They’re-- they’re  _ slaves _ , Merle.”

“Well,” he began, and then stopped.  “Fuck.”

“We gotta do something,” she said, hopping off the desk and beginning to pace, terse nervous circles around the empty classroom.  “We can break them out-- we can go on, on strike or somethin’--”

“Lup,” he interrupted.  “You need to do this smart.”

“I  _ am  _ doing this smart!”  Had she been in lich form, flames would be sparking in her eyes.  “I  _ am  _ saving them!”

He nodded, trying to be comforting.  “Well, let’s think about it. Have you talked to any of the house elves?  We should get their thoughts, too, y’know.”

“Yes, but--”

“Lup!”

She turned to glare at him.

“Lup,” he said, softer.  “Find out what you can. At this week’s team meeting, you can present your plan of action, okay?”

“I don’t want to  _ wait  _ that long.”

“But would you rather break them out on your own?” Merle asked.  “Or with a group of other kickass wizards?”

“You’re right,” she said, backing away from the metaphorical edge just a bit.  “Me and Creesh got this.”

“Hey!” he squawked.

“Don’t be late,” she threatened.  “We’ve got to do a heist that fucking matters, this time.”

And with that, Lup swept out of the classroom.

Dammit.

Merle waddled after her, off to find Professor Sprout.

\---

“Why do you want to know about house elves?” asked Professor Sprout curiously as the two of them spread manure in the gardens.  “Do they not have those in America?”

“Nah,” Merle lied.  “Must be a cultural thing.”

Sprout shrugged a little.  “Well, I’m not an expert. But house elves are, um, a race of magical creatures bred to serve wizards.”

“Sounds like slaves.”

“I--” she protested, then fell silent.  “I help with a lot of house elf affairs, Mr. Highchurch, and as far as I can tell, they’re happy.  It’s what they’re used to, it’s what they like to do.”

“Still sounds like slaves.”

“If you want to talk to them yourself--”

“Sure!”

Professor Sprout sighed a little, and gave Merle the directions to the kitchens.  Those firmly in mind, and manure washed off his hands, he made his way back into the castle proper and down the stairs to the kitchens.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Also, a huge apology for not responding to comments-- senior year has been kicking my entire ass. I love you guys!!


	6. Aster for Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup has a plan. Lucretia takes charge. Merle is impressed, and confused.

The house elves were welcoming.  Scarily so; foisting all sorts of food and drink onto Merle.  He shrugged them off, did his best to find their leader. In the end, none of them really wanted to talk to him, too busy preparing for dinner.

“Is it alright if I bring some o’ my kid-- my friends by?” He asked, and they agreed, quickly shooing him out.

When Merle told Lup about his disappointing welcome, she just shook her head, fire still burning fierce in her metaphorical eyes.  “Well, they’ll listen to me,” she told him.

“Lup, are you--”

“If you’re going to ask me if I’m sure, Merle, then it’s a hell-fucking-yes.”

He raised his eyebrows; she sighed.  “Listen, I’ll figure it out, okay?”

“I know you will,” Merle said, patting her on the hip.

\---

Lup was early for their Thursday night meeting, which in and of itself was a surprise.  Merle enjoyed the looks on everybody else’s faces as she didn’t even wait for Dav to welcome the rest of the crew, standing up from her seat the minute all seven of them had arrived.

“So, hi, we’ve all had a week, great,” she said very quickly.  “Um, did you know that Hogwarts has  _ slaves _ ?”  Lup didn’t wait for a response.  “ _ House elves _ .  HOUSE ELVES! They make the food, clean the castle, get no pay-- and when I talked to them, they’ve been doing it for  _ hundreds of years _ .  They don’t want pay or freedom, but they’ve been  _ indoctrinated _ !  I will  _ not  _ stand for this!”

And she glared at them as though they would challenge what she’d said.  Merle gave her a thumbs up. Seeing that, Taako gave him a thumbs down.

“That is a problem,” said Davenport, nodding.  “What do you propose we do about it?”

Lup’s grin deepened: feral, knifelike.  

“We’re going to fucking--”

“No fire!”

“Not what I was gonna say.  We’re gonna start a re-education program for the elves, and also, we’re going to take over the  _ fucking kitchens _ .”

“Nice!” Taako crowed.

Merle looked around in confusion.  “I don’t get it.”

“Me neither,” offered Magnus.

Taako shook his head in their general direction.  “Uh, it’s obvi, thugs. We take over the kitchens, nobody gets to eat, nobody gets clean clothes.  A fuckin’ heist, my man, and at the very least we get them some better working conditions.”

“Do we have anybody else onboard?” asked Lucretia, tilting her head.  “Because if the elves don’t  _ want  _ to have us taking over the kitchens...”

“Oh, no, they do,” Lup promised.  “Mostly because I told them me’n’Koko would handle meals for a bit.”

Davenport raised his eyebrows.  “Did you volunteer us for cleaning duty, too?  Laundry?”

“Well--”

“Lup, I like this idea,” he said frankly.  “But we can’t have any of the elves getting hurt in the meantime.  Let’s go through with the re-education program first, have the seven of us be a familiar presence in the kitchens.  Make friends with the elves, get to know them. After a bit, we can persuade them to let us do this.”

“I’ll give you a month,” Lup replied, eyes narrow.  “And if they still don’t want us to do the takeover, then we’re fucking doing it  _ anyway _ .”

He nodded.  “Alright. Okay, um, we need somebody to spearhead this reeducation program.  Uh...”

“I’ll do it,” said Lucretia, half-raising her hand, while diligently taking minutes with the other.  “I’ve already done quite a bit of research, and I’m a few months ahead in all of my classes.”

“How??” asked Magnus, shellshocked.  She just smiled at him, went back to double-handed writing.

“Excellent,” said Davenport.  “Lucretia, you’re on for the reeducation program.  I assume Lup will want to help...”

“Ch’ _ yeah _ .  Duh.”

He nodded.  “Alright. And... take Magnus, he’s likeable, and Merle-- you know, fuck it.”

“Dad’n’port said  _ fuck _ !” Lup and Taako shrieked in unison.

Dav sighed.  “Just take everybody, okay?  Section out jobs and things. But don’t overwhelm them.”

“Us? Overwhelming?” asked Lup, leaning further over the table, smile curving upward, dangerous.  “Oh, I can’t  _ imagine  _ it.”

“Meeting adjourned?” asked Magnus.

“Hands in the middle,” Merle said loudly.  With a normal amount of grumbling, the crew of the Starblaster thrust their hands into the middle.

“On three!” Magnus said.  “One! Two! Three!”

“STARBLASTER!”

“I still can’t believe they named it that,” Davenport muttered as the crew filtered out.

\---

Lucretia bullied Merle into going to the kitchens with her the very next day.  They tumbled through the painting of the bowl of fruit, a swarm of house elves rushing to greet them.

“Hello sir and miss!” said the one in the front, bowing low.  “May Tilly help you today?”

“Hi, Tilly,” said Lucretia, smiling at her.  “We’re just looking for a quiet place to sit for a while, can we stay here?”

“Of course!” Tilly chirped, snapping her fingers.  Behind her, a flurry of house elves scooted chairs in front of the fire, producing a tea tray.

“Thank you very much,” Lucretia replied, sitting down and motioning for Merle to do the same.  “I must say, you’re very efficient.”

“Thank you,” the house elf blushed.

“Have you worked at Hogwarts long?”

“Tilly’s whole life.”

“Oh, really?” asked Lucretia, tilting her head.  “I’m from America, and I must admit I don’t know much about house elves.”  
“We thoughts you was from space, miss!”

“How’d you know that?” asked Merle, marvelling.

Tilly looked down at the floor.  “Tilly’s very sorry, sir and miss, she shouldn’t have said anything--”

“It’s fine, Tilly,” said Lucretia. “We’re just impressed.  You’re a lot more observant than the professors here.”

The house elf laughed, a little nervously.  “We just notices things, sir and miss! That’s what a house elf is for!”

And with a grin only Merle recognized as  _ devious _ , Lucretia plunged headfirst into a discussion with Tilly about house elf culture.  Slowly, more and more elves drifted into the conversation, stepping away from stoves and cleaning rags for moments that grew into minutes.

“It’s amazing how much you care for Hogwarts,” Lucretia marvelled.  “You know, Merle thinks about it just like you do!”

“Yeah,” he said, a little shocked to be addressed.  “Hoggy’s just a friend of mine.”

The elves chittered among themselves.  Tilly said, “Hoggy’s our friend too! She helps us get where we needs to go!  And if we run out of cleaning supplies, she gives us closets and shortcuts!”

“I’m so glad we have such dedicated caretakers,” Lucretia hummed.  “You’re a  _ lot  _ better than Filch.”

A hum of stilted and not-quite muffled laughter ran over the crowd.

“If you ask me,” she said, confiding like it was a secret, “Dumbledore should fire him and hire you all to do his job!”

Shock.

In front of the group, Tilly shook her head nervously.  “Miss Lucretia, house elves isn’t supposed to be hired.”

She shrugged, graceful as ever, and smiled as one of them darted forward to refill their teapot.  “Maybe not. But you’re not just  _ normal  _ house elves, are you?  You’re  _ Hogwarts  _ house elves.”

“She’s right,” said an elf in the back of the group.

More murmurs that bordered on assent.  Smiling gently, Lucretia refilled her teacup.  Merle just stared at how easily she was working the crowd.

“I think that Hogwarts is our friend,” she said as they left for class.  “And that means she wants to take care of all of us, especially the elves that keep her running.”

\---

“Okay, yeah, this is great,” Lup half-moaned at their next team meeting, a week after reeducation had begun.  “But it’s so  _ slow _ .”

“They’re coming around,” said Lucretia, smiling at her girlfriend.  “But they’ve been indoctrinated for their entire lives. Let me finish the month: besides, I’m bringing Magnus in with me tomorrow, and they  _ love  _ him.”

Merle waggled his eyebrows at Magnus, who buried his face in his hands.

“Good work, team,” said Davenport loudly, re-catching their attention.  “How’s everything else going? We’ve got the Goblet of Fire ceremony this weekend.”

“And  _ nobody put their names in _ , yes, we know,” Barry said, rolling his eyes a little.  Dav glared at him.

“It’s worth double-checking,” their captain said obstinately.  “We don’t want a repeat of Cycle forty-nine.”

“Hey!” Barry protested as Taako started to cackle.  “I thought you said  _ milk _ !”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, clapping my hands in rhythm: I skipped class to write this and also some shit goes down in the next chapter, yeet


	7. Alstroemeria for Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm out of town this weekend, so the chapter's a day early. Regular Friday updates will resume next week!

“Fleur Delacour!” read Dumbledore as the Goblet of Fire spouted names and flames forth.  “Victor Krum! Cedric Diggory! And...” with the finality of a hundred years, he read, “... Harry Potter.”

The hall broke out into surprised murmurs as the boy rose to his feet.  Even from a few tables away, Merle could read the shock and the fear papered onto his face.  He was fourteen years old, and he was afraid.

Even so, the four champions disappeared into a side room.  McGonagall retook the stage. "Two students from the school of each champion will be selected to be the champion's support team. These students will not compete with the champion, but they will provide aid in every other way  Now that we have our champions--” she plucked the burnt pieces of paper from the air, placed them gently in a simply carved wooden box-- “We will allow the Coffer of Earth to select their support teams.”

The names flew through the air as McGonagall announced them.

“For Ms. Fleur Delacour!  Ms. Helena Moreau and Mr. Adam Segal!  For Mr. Victor Krum! Ms. Gable Daghmore and Mx. Sasha Petrov!  For Mr. Cedric Diggory!” The hall held its collective breath. “Mr. Percival Weasley and Mr. Merle Highchurch!”

Barry screamed in Merle’s ear.  Merle screamed back.

“What the fuck?!” Lup yelled.

McGonagall shot them another _look_.

“And for Mr. Harry Potter,” she continued.  “Mr. Ronald Weasley and Mr. Neville Longbottom!”

Sheer and utter bedlam ensued.  Merle did his best to not be looked at, which was a feat given that some boxy thing had just yelled his name without him even wanting it to.  He tried to get a read on the rest of the room.

Durmstrang and Beauxbatons seemed angry, probably because Harry wasn’t supposed to be chosen.  Gave Hogwarts two champions, which, yeah, pretty fucking unfair. But, oh well. Harry seemed just as worried about it as the next person.

Percy Weasley bustled over to Merle, all red hair and gleaming Head Boy badge, breaking him out of his reverie.  “Well done, Merle!” he said, pumping his hand. “Really excellent, this is a great opportunity for us--”

He’d reminded Merle of a taller Davenport until he’d started talking.

“--must meet with Cedric right away to discuss strategy, of course we want a Hogwarts victory--”

“That’s real nice,” said Merle loudly, patting Percy on the hip and hurrying his way out of the dining hall.  As he slipped through the double doors, somebody touched his arm: Davenport.

Their captain raised his eyebrows.  Merle shrugged, and the two of them rushed away from the light and frantic noise of the hall, into the chill quiet halls.  “Well, Dav,” said Merle. “I guess you can’t get mad at me for putting my name in now.”

“I can’t,” he admitted, quieter than normal.

Merle glanced at him-- was he okay?  He seemed sorta subdued--

“I’m just worried about you.”

“Me?  Why?” He laughed a little.

“Because--” Davenport sighed, a little angry.  “Because none of us were supposed to be anywhere _near_ this goddamn tournament, Merle!  And now you’re _in_ it--”

“I’m on support--”

“And you didn’t even get a choice.”  he looked away, folded his arms over his chest, then sighed, softer.  “This is just... fucked up. Really, really fucked up.”

“It’ll be okay,” Merle said, reassuring.  “I’ll help Ced win, or not. Tournament won’t even bother me.”

“Alright,” said Davenport.  “It’s just...” he sighed. “There’s something going on here.”

“Harry didn’t want to do it,” Merle offered.

Dav nodded.  “It’s like Lucretia said.  A bunch of things are about to reach critical velocity.”

“I don’t speak physics, sorry skipper.”

He laughed a little, exhaling.  “Shit’s about to hit the fan.”

“Better!”

“But even so, Merle, I don’t... I don’t feel comfortable with you being part of this.”

“Well, I don’t think I can get out of it,” he said slowly.  “But you know what? I’m gonna _roll with the punches_.  I’m gonna strategize for this kid-- keep ‘im safe--”

“I know you will,” said Davenport with a soft smile.  “I trust you.”

\---

Much to Merle’s dismay, Percy Weasley called for a strategy meeting the very next morning.  On a Saturday. At _eight_.

Merle walked in fifteen minutes late with an iced coffee; his favorite of Taako’s power moves.  If the elf saw him now, he’d probably sue for fantasy brand infringement, but... the look on Percy’s face was absolutely worth it.

“Hey, fellas,” he said easily as he sat down in the empty classroom they’d taken over.

“Hey, Merle,” said Cedric.  “Glad you could make it.”

He nodded, very serious.  “Traffic was killer.”

By now, Percy’s face was almost as red as his hair.  Merle let himself feel a slight twinge of satisfaction.

“ _So_ ,” said Percy, straightening his Head Boy badge.  “Now that we’re all here, we can begin. Cedric, what do you have to go on so far?”

Cedric shot Merle a quiet smile.  “Well, today I get to miss half of Charms to go in for the weighing of the wands, and a quick photo shoot for the Daily Prophet.”

“Make sure your wand is polished,” Percy suggested.  “That’ll look better.”

“Are you offering to help him?” asked Merle, waggling his eyebrows.  Both seventh years went red, and he laughed. “Just joshin’ with ya! Keep goin’, Charles.”

“It’s Cedric,” he said, still red.  “Anyway, then the first task is a surprise.  Dumbledore told us that we’ll have more warning for the other tasks.”

“Hm,” said Percy, flipping through a sheaf of parchment.  “And you’ve no idea what this task could be?”

“Nope.  I assume it’s dangerous, though,” Cedric replied, looking a little nervous now.  “Probably some magical obstacle course, or fighting a creature--”

“Like a dragon?” Merle asked.

The seventh years turned to look and/or glare at him.  “Well, it could be,” said Cedric. “I, uh. I really hope it’s not that.”

“They wouldn’t do that,” Percy said confidently.  “They wouldn’t be able to get the dragons here on time.”

“But there’s dragons here,” Merle said.  “Out past the Black Lake?”

“How the _bloody hell_ do you know that??!”

Merle smiled.

\---

Percy and Merle stood side-by-side in the stands watching Krum face off against his dragon.  Although his Head Boy badge shone, Percy’s face was as white as a sheet, gripping the banister with clenched fingers.

“He’ll be fine,” Merle said confidently, adjusting his sunglasses strap.  “Hey, are you two dating?”

“Wh-wh-” he spluttered.

Merle patted him on the hip, and nodded sagely.  “It’s no big deal if you are. Explains the worry, though.”

Percy, although worry-white, blushed.  “I, um. Maybe. A little bit?”

“Well, do you want to be?”

He muttered something under his breath, avoiding Merle’s eyes.

“C’mon, Perry, I couldn’t hear that.”

“ _Yes_ , alright!” Percy snapped.  All around them, the crowd roared with approval as Cedric walked into the arena.  Head held high, yellow robes snapping in the breeze. He shot Percy and Merle a smile.

Percy blushed, and then his attention was entirely riveted on the arena in front of them.  Merle stood solitary by his side as he watched his hopeful-maybe-boyfriend dodge fire breath and take a burn across the side of his face.

They cheered together as Cedric raised aloft his golden egg.

And if Percy kissed him in the medical tent afterwards, well, Merle won’t tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to Verlaine for their idea to do support staff! Also, huge thanks to YOU for reading!!!


	8. Heather for Protection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merle sets up a date. Lucretia condones Shenanigans. Taako makes a choice.

“So, the golden egg _must_ be the clue,” said Percy, head on his hands four hours into their brainstorming session.

“Want me to cast detect magic on it?” Merle asked, sitting up a little from where he had flopped onto the floor.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not a real spell,” Oliver managed through a yawn.  

“Nah, it is, it is!” Merle insisted, rolling over.  “See, here--”

And he cast detect magic, the thin light winding out of his wand and around the golden egg that lay on the table.

Percy raised his head, stared down at him.  “That’s _not_ a real spell.”

Merle shrugged.  “Well, it’s magic for sure.”

“Does anybody have ideas how to understand the screaming?” Oliver asked, cutting off the argument that had begun to bud.

“I think Barry knows comprehend languages,” Merle mused.

“That’s _not_ a _real spell--_ ”

“Why don't we end this meeting here?” Oliver asked, yawning again.  “Everybody research or something, hell-- I mean heck--”

“Don’t swear in front of Merle, he’s a child.”

“Fuck you!”

“Just research,” said Oliver, tired, leaning his head on Percy’s shoulder.  “Meet, uh... next Thursday?”

“Wednesday work?” asked Merle.  That was family meeting time.

“I’ve got Astronomy then.”

“Friday?”

Oliver glanced at Percy and quickly looked away, his cheeks darkening.  “I’ve got plans. Saturday? Does Saturday work?”

“Have fun on your date,” Merle said loudly, winking once at each of them.  Percy’s ears went red.

“Let’s do Saturday,” said Oliver, even louder, and the two seventh years hurried out of the empty classroom they’d borrowed for their meeting.

\---

“God, I guess we have to actually go get our dress robes now,” Davenport marvelled.

“Why’s that?” asked Merle, half-sitting up.

“Haven’t you seen the posters?”

“...what posters?”

Davenport sighed, but he was smiling through it.  “For the Yule Ball.”

“Ooooh,” said Merle, who did actually know what he was talking about.  Fun though it was to pretend otherwise. “Well,” he teased, “I wasn’t sure if I had a date.”

Dav rolled his eyes, smile growing.  “Merle Fucking Highchurch, will you go to the Yule Ball with me?”

“Duh,” said Merle, grinning at him.

“So should we go now?” he asked, looking around the mostly deserted Great Hall.  Not many students felt like getting up at seven on a Saturday morning, after all.

“Hell, why not?” he said with a shrug.  “McGee’s right over there.”

Hand in hand, Merle and Davenport wandered over to the staff table, where the Transfiguration professor loomed down over them.  

“We’re headed to Hogsmeade,” Davenport told her, using his captain voice.  Firm and authoritative.

McGonagall nodded.  “Enjoy yourselves, boys.”

“Oh, I plan to!” Merle replied, winking at her.  With a sigh, Davenport took his hand, and pulled him out of the hall before-- or so Merle assumed-- he could further embarrass them.

The walk to Hogsmeade was quick, driven by the brisk wind outside.  It was much more pleasant without dementors along the way, too.

“So what _is_ a dress robe?” Merle mused as they walked into the shop.  “Like, a bathrobe?”

The person manning the store visibly winced. Davenport hid a smile.

One exasperated shop assistant and two hours later, the two left with two sets of dress robes ordered.  Hiding a smile, Davenport almost insisted they wait until they were finished at the shop-- but the assistant was so close to tears over their antics that Merle figured they’d done their job, and the two extraplanar travelers left.

Merle thought he heard a quiet, “Thank Merlin,” as the door shut behind them.

\---

“It’s been a month,” Lup said at their next meeting, pacing around the room.  “Creesh, how’s it going?”

“They’ve opened up a lot to us,” said Lucretia, flattening out two identical notebooks to copy down her own words.  “I think a good portion-- a bit over half-- would be fine with receiving minimum wage. They don’t want to lose a job, they don’t necessarily want to be free-- but for now I think we can get them worker benefits without being _technically_ freed.”

Barry half-raised his hand.  “So, uh, Lucretia and I were thinking that in order to, uh, let the school know the new deal, is to take over the kitchens.  The house elves still want to, uh, keep cleaning duties, but I think the food will be, well, more noticeable, vis a vis the eating situation.”

“Fuck yeah!” Taako crowed.  “God I can’t wait to eat a spice!”

Lup glared at him.  “We’re not gonna be cookin’ _good_ food, Koko.  We’re gonna make them _want_ to pay the house elves.”

His smile curved into something even more wicked, sinister.  “So, you’re saying the Porridge Debacle?”

Lup’s grin matched her twin’s.  “Abso-fuckin’-lutely.”

“Should I know what that means?” Merle wondered out loud.

“You will,” Lup said.

\---

Unwilling to wait until after the Yule Ball the next week, the seven of them staged their takeover of the kitchens the very next night.  Lucretia instructed them to pack a bag they could live out of.

“Do we get to skip class?!” Magnus asked gleefully.

She leveled a gaze at him.  “Fuck yeah,” she said, deadpan.  Lup gave her a high-five.

Merle shouldered his rucksack as they walked further down the stairs to the kitchens.  A few steps behind him, complaining loudly, Taako dragged two matching glittery purple suitcases, each bulging.

“Do you really need, uh, all that?” asked Barry, re-adjusting his denim backpack.

“Look me in the eyes and ask me that again, _Barold_ ,” Taako said, threatening.  Merle laughed.

“Shh!” said Lucretia from the front of the pack, reaching out an arm to tickle the pear to let them into the kitchens.

“Hello Miss and Sirs!” chirped one of the house elves as they filed in, Barry carefully shutting the painting behind them.  “Are you ready?”

“Absolutely, Daree,” said Lucretia to the house elf.  “Will you all be fine to stay out of the kitchens? We’re still planning on the house elf table, yes?”

“Yes miss!” he replied, pointing across the kitchens.  Where the four house tables were mirrored beneath the Great Hall, there was another table, a fifth.  Smaller, with lower benches. A table perfectly sized for house elves.

“Their quarters and dining hall are directly below this,” Lucretia explained to the rest of their group under her breath.  “We’ll make them actual good food.”

“Oh, natch,” said Taako, striding forward, his two rolling suitcases clacking on the flagstones.  “Thank you all, and, shoo!”

Some of the house elves laughed, and soon enough the IPRE had the kitchen to themselves.  

Everybody immediately flew into action.  Taako dragged his suitcases to a wall, propped them there, started darting between stoves and ovens, making faces.  Magnus and Lup and Lucretia went directly to the portrait hole, working together, wood and protection barriers and magic, to block access to the kitchens.  

Barry and Davenport moved to the cots the house elves had loaned them, started conjuring sheets and blankets and pillow.   _Lots_ of pillows.

Merle dropped his rucksack in the corner, wandered over to Taako, who had fired up the stove tops and had begun boiling water.  “Need help there?”

“No, get out--” he began, then paused, glancing over Merle.  “Actually. Wait. You’re horrible at cooking, this is _perfect_.”

“Hey,” Merle protested.

Taako just rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, whatever, thug. Go grab the cumin.  Don’t bother to read the label, just grab whatever’s first.”

With Merle liberally applying various spices and Taako mixing together the most unappetizing pot of gray, concrete-thick porridge possible, the kitchen smelled horrible.  

Lup, leaving Lucretia and Magnus to finish barricading the entrance, wandered over to them, pulling out a saute pan and some peppers as she went.  “We’ll eat well,” she remarked to nobody in particular.

“Fuck yeah!” shouted Magnus in reply from across the room.

As Taako’s purposefully disgusting meal was slowly covered up with the scent of Lup’s fajitas, Merle grinned, hands on his hips.  “This is gonna be the best kitchen takeover _ever_.”

Lup grinned at him, but before she could reply, the fireplace flared green.  As though by magic, all seven of them stared at it as a fairly small girl climbed out.

“Daphne?” asked Lucretia.

She was pale white, staring directly at her.  “He-- He’s not gonna like this,” she said. In unison, Daphne and Lucretia looked at Taako.  He stopped stirring, face going ashen.

“Well, chucklefucks,” he managed.  “Looks like I’m outta here. See you nerds on the flipside!”

Kissing Lup lightly on the cheek, Taako shot them all a lazy peace sign, and stepped into the green flames, and disappeared.

Daphne nodded, and looked at Lucretia.  “I can try and cover for you--”

“Please do,” she replied lightly, hugging her.  “Watch your parchment, I’ll write to you.”

The Slytherin girl nodded, pushed a lock of hair behind her ear.  “I’ll do my best to let you know. You’ve blocked off the entrances?”

“Yep,” she replied.  “We’ll be fine.”

“Alright,” she said, and stepped back into the fire.

“What was that?” Merle wondered.

Lup turned to him with a sigh.  “That,” she told him, “Was us taking sides.”


	9. Daisy for Loyal Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The great kitchen takeover. Also, the Yule Ball, abstract rules of Yooker, and ghost peppers.

The kitchen felt awkward without Taako in it.  Lup had the food-- both the disgusting mush and their actual meal-- handled, but not easily.  She would turn, bowl outstretched, and it would fall to the ground if Barry couldn’t catch it in time.  Every few minutes, she’d toss a spice container over her shoulder for her twin to catch. Instead the duty fell to Magnus, running back and forth like he was playing Rebound again.

“It’s almost dinnertime,” Lucretia said, breaking the silence.  “We ready?”

“Yeah,” Lup replied, face hard, unreadable.  “Help me dish these up?”

The remaining six of them ladelled Lup’s mush into ten big pots, putting two on each table.  Thus positioned, Lup smiled, and grabbed some spice out of the cupboard. She sprinkled it liberally on the pots on the staff table.

“What is that?” Davenport asked her as she put it away.

She glanced at him.  “Ghost peppers.”

“ _ Ghost  _ peppers?” Magnus asked, halfway between scared and delighted.

“Yes, exactly,” Lup replied, deadpan.  “Ghosts that look like peppers-- no, Maggie, just really fuckin’ hot peppers.”

“That sounds  _ awesome _ .”

“They’re hot enough to kill you.”

“So?”

“Are we should we should be feeding those to the staff?” Merle wondered.  “I mean, they’re our teachers.”

“I’m sorry, but are you, Merle Fuckin’ Highchurch, telling me to  _ not  _ be chaotic?”

“Nah,” he said, waving a hand.  “I’m makin’ sure you don’t wanna slip them anywhere else!”

“This will be good,” Lup said, hands on her hips.  “Creesh, the door barricaded?”

“Yep,” her girlfriend replied.  “And we’ve got every ward we could find up on the Floo network.  Nobody’s getting into this kitchen without our permission.”

Lup’s smile deepened, becoming more devious.  Scarily so. “Perfect.”

It was eerie, seeing the benches slide back when the people weren’t there.  Creepy, seeing ladles lift spoonfuls of Lup’s mush onto their plates without hands.

“It’s all the students upstairs, in the actual great hall,” explained Barry, under his breath.  “Oh, shit--”

They watched in silent awe as a spoonful of mush catapulted directly across the great hall and splattered on...  _ somebody _ .

“God, I hope it’s Dumbledore,” whispered Magnus, eyeing the now-floating, spattered mush hovering above the staff table.

Lup scurried among the tables, setting out stacks of fliers.  Once all distributed, she clapped her hands and pointed her wand, and-- or, so Merle assumed-- they appeared in the Great Hall.

“We’ve got company,” Davenport told them, drawing the rest of them back to the barricaded-portrait entryway into the kitchen.  There were thuds outside, and the muffled voices of people casting spells. For a moment, the portrait buckled like it was about to tear-- Barry gasped-- but it held.

“Who is  _ in there _ !” shouted the person outside the door.  “Let us  _ in _ !”

“This is the House Elf Liberation League,” Lup replied, voice smug.  “Fliers have been provided in the Great Hall with our goals and objectives.  Please peruse those before negotiating with us.”

“Wait, our acronym is  _ HELL _ ?” Merle asked.

“That’s great,” Magnus breathed.  “Fuck yeah-- no.  _ HELL  _ yeah!”

The person outside the portrait hole argued some more, but Lup just raised her wand.  Slowly, bit by bit, their voice went silent.

“There,” she said, and turned back to the kitchen.  “Well, they should be having some second thoughts about slavery now.  Shall we eat?”

\---

HELL held the kitchen for Saturday, feeding the school a diet comprised entirely of bananas and the occasional cucumber.  On Sunday, HELL still held the kitchen, and fed the school lemon wedges and dry rice.

It had been kind of boring, if Merle was honest.  He liked to be in the action, not holding hostages like this, even if the hostage was just good food.

Davenport turned over his Yooker card.  Merle groaned. “Hey, are we ignoring the triplet rule?  We’re on an even-numbered cycle.”

“Yes, but this cycle ends in ‘0’,” he argued.  “And since that isn’t actually a number, the triplet rule is entirely valid.”

“Whaddaya mean, 0 isn’t a number?”

“It’s really not,” said Barry, standing in front of the stove, very carefully mixing something for Lup.  “It’s more of an abstract concept.”

“Eh, sounds fake.”

“Yeah, I mean, it really is,” he replied.

Grumbling, Merle flipped his next card, but didn’t play it.  Too distracted by Lucretia sticking her head in the fireplace.

“Uh, Lucinda?” he asked loudly.

She pulled her head right back out of the emerald green flames to glare at him.  He glanced her over-- unburnt. Perfect.

He gave her a thumbs up, and she stuck her head back in.

After a few more minutes of losing at Yooker, Lucretia came out of the fire again, and the flames resumed their cheery golden dance.

“What was that, Lucille?” he asked her.

“Talking to Daphne,” she replied, coming over to perch on the edge of their table.  “The professors are considering our terms of surrender. Apparently Flitwick has been trying to break in for the past three days, so we’ve got some hella good charm work from Barry.”

“Thanks,” Barry called.

“Anyway, the students are practically rioting,” she continued, a small grin crossing her face.  “Daphne thinks that we should only need to be down here for a day more, tops.”

“Oh thank Pan,” Merle said, raising his arms in praise.  

“I can see your cards, uh, Merle,” said Davenport, faintly amused.

“Aw, damn it!”

The captain shrugged, playing his next card.  “Well, I’m winning anyway.”

Merle stuck out his tongue, but turned to Lucretia.  “Hey, uh, your gal heard anything about Taako?”

Her eyes dropped to the floor for half a second.  “You know why he couldn’t be here, right, Merle?”

“Not really, no.”

“Well,” she sighed.  “Taako’s playing the, uh, the ‘bad guy,’ I suppose.  And that means he can’t do things anymore like free the house elves, or be part of HELL.”

“Or be seen with us?” asked Merle.

Lucretia sighed again.  “He wants to, I know that much.  But, Merle, you have to understand.  He’s playing the long game. And to play the long game, you have to be all in, all the way.  You can’t be mad at him.”

“Oh, I’m not,” he said blithely.  “I’m just pissed. Lup keeps dropping flour everywhere!”

“Hey, fuck you!” shouted Lup from across the kitchen, working on the portrait hold barricade.

“No, fuck  _ you _ !” he retorted.

“Please,” Davenport begged.  “Please, no fucking in the kitchen.”

\---

“We are prepared,” sighed somebody outside the portrait hole.  “To agree to your terms.”

“Great,” said Lup.  “So, uh, I’m gonna need an  _ Unbreakable Oath  _ on that one, babe.”

As Barry slowly peeled away the charmed barricade to let Lup out-- as he sealed the oath to their terms between Lup and Dumbledore-- Merle just watched.

“And do you promise,” Lup finished, their joined arms ringed in white-- almost like bonds-- “That no person involved in HELL will receive consequences due to this action, now and forever?”

“I promise,” said Dumbledore, moving to pull his hand away, but Lup held firm.

“And do you  _ promise _ ,” she continued, a little louder, “To maintain these promises among any staff, students, or living sentient beings on Hogwarts grounds, now and forever?”

“I--”

“Do you  _ promise _ ?” she asked.

“I promise.”

They let go with little ado, and the six of them filed out of the kitchen, heads held high.

\---

In all the chaos, the Yule Ball practically snuck up on them.  Arm in arm with Davenport, wearing their new dress robes, they watched the champions come in to start off the ball.

As Cedric entered, in step with Percy Weasley, Merle wolf whistled, and they blushed, but kept walking.

“Proud of those kids,” he remarked as they waltzed.

“Yeah?” asked Davenport.

“Mm-hmm.  They’re good kids.  Gonna do a lotta good someday.”

As the rest of the school filtered onto the dance floor, Merle and Davenport joined them.  Short though they were, they caught snippets of the rest of the crew here and there.

Lup and Barry, doing the tango, him with a rose between his teeth.  Merle didn’t know where he’d gotten the rose, but had to applaud the idea.  A little bit away, Lucretia and Daphne. Lucretia was busy teaching Daphne some swing dance that was probably from cycle twenty-three, and the two of them were smiling too big to be bothered about the fumbled steps.

Taako, as he was wont to do, made a dramatic entrance.

The doors to the great hall banged open, loud enough that the sound couldn’t have been natural.  There stood Taako, resplendent, arm in arm with--

“Is that  _ Blaise Zabini _ ?” Lup hissed.

It was, in fact, Blaise Zabini.  

“Taako’s got a type,” Merle said to Davenport as the couple strutted into the ballroom.  “Tall, dark, handsome, and just as extra as he is.”

“Well,” said Davenport with a little chuckle.  “You’re not wrong.”

“Oh, hey, you remember on Cycle thirty-eight, when he--”

“Oh Pan,” Dav groaned.  “I’ve been trying to  _ not  _ remember that cycle.”

Merle laughed, and the plane turned, and above them through the invisible ceiling the stars whirled.  

Merle and Davenport kissed on the stairs to the Ravenclaw tower, and the stars spun, and for a too-brief moment, everything was right in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> love you guys! if you feel like leaving a kudos or a comment, the button's right there... :D


	10. Delphinium for Levity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparation for the Triwizard Tournament. Also, mermaids, Dumbledore's aesthetic, and bad planning.

“So, I figured out the egg,” Cedric said at their next planning meeting for the Triwizard Tournament.  “Or, well, Professor Moody gave me a tip. Is that allowed?”

Percy frowned.  “I mean...”

“It is as long as you don’t get caught,” Merle offered.

“--  I think it’s  _ technically  _ cheating,” Percy said slowly.  “But you didn’t go out and  _ ask  _ Moody for the clue, right?”

Cedric shook his head.  “Nope. I wouldn’t do that.  He just came up to me after class one day, asked if I’d tried putting the egg in water.”

“And that  _ worked _ ?” Merle asked, dubious.  “Sounds fake.”

“Well, it took me a while,” he admitted, scratching the back of his head.  “You had to, uh, put your head underwater with the egg. Turns out the singing is  _ mermaid  _ song.  It’s words when you listen underwater.”

“Well, what did it say?” Percy asked eagerly, pulling out a notebook from his bag, quill poised to write.

Cedric closed his eyes.  “It went like this:

_ Come seek us where our voices sound, _

_ We cannot sing above the ground, _

_ And while you’re searching, ponder this: _

_ We’ve taken what you’ll sorely miss, _

_ An hour long you’ll have to look, _

_ And to recover what we took, _

_ But past an hour – the prospect’s black _

_ Too late, it’s gone, it won’t come back. _ ”

“Well,” said Merle bluntly.  “That’s ominous as fuck.”

“Thanks, Merle,” said Cedric deadpan.  “I had no idea.”

“So,” said Percy, hands inkstained and brow scrunched up in concentration.  “Something precious is going to be taken from you. By... the mermaids?”

“Yeah, they live in the lake,” Merle said easily.

Both seventh years looked at him.

“How d’you  _ know  _ that?” Cedric asked.

He shrugged.  “Friends in Slytherin.  They’ve got a glass wall in their common room, see right in.  Some of them know sign language, talk to the mermaids. Pretty cool.”

“I almost want to ask  _ why  _ you know this,” Percy said slowly.  “But I’ll quit while we’re ahead.”

“Thank you, Perry.”

“Not my name.”

“Sorry, Paul.”

He sighed.  “So, Ced, sounds like you’re going to have to, like, go into the Black Lake to get back this... precious thing.”  He flipped almost eagerly to a new page in his notebook, pushed his glasses further up on his nose. “So. We’re going to need spells to breathe underwater, spells to help you swim quickly, maybe, stuff to help you deal with any animals in the lake...”

“I told Harry about it.”

Percy looked up at him, face pale.  “Ced-- why the bloody hell did you do that?”

The Hufflepuff just shrugged.  “It’s fair, that’s all. He told me about the dragons, and besides, I didn’t ask Moody to tell me.  I figure it’s not  _ quite  _ as much cheating if Harry knows too, right?”

“Ced--”

“I’m proud of you, son,” Merle said loudly, cutting Percy off.  “That’s what life is all about! Helping the people around us!”

Percy looked like he wanted to say something, but cut himself off.

“... you know you’re  _ younger  _ than  _ both  _ of us, right?” Cedric asked carefully.

Merle just laughed.

\---

“So how’s everybody been doing?” asked Davenport at their next team meeting.

“Peachy keen!” said Magnus, giving them double thumbs up.

“Surviving,” Taako offered.

“Seriously, bro, you okay?” asked Lup, elbowing him until he lifted his head from the table.  “It’s been a lukewarm minute since we’ve been together like this.”

He sighed, lowered his head again.  “I’m okay.”

“You’re a goddamn liar,” she said cheerfully.  “Merle, if you would--”

“No!” Taako yelped, sitting up.  “No, no Zone of Truth. That’s  _ illegal _ , old man!”

“No, it’s not,” Lucretia smiled, looking up from her double sets of notes from their meeting.

He sighed.  “Well, it’s okay, I guess.  Sorry about fucking off of the kitchen takeover, but, y’know... shit’s about to hit the fan.  Kudos to your girl, Creesh--”

She gave him a mock salute.

“-- Malfoy was looking for me.  Needed some fashion advice or some shit like that for the Yule Ball.  Of course, I’m flattered he acknowledged me as the most fashionable person in this whole goddamn school--”

“Dumbledore’s aesthetic is pretty on fleek,” Merle said.

Taako and Lup screamed in unison, clapping their hands over their ears.  

“OH MY GODS--”

“MERLE I WILL PAY YOU TO  _ NEVER _ \--”

“THIS FAMILY IS A DISASTER--”

“ _ FUCK  _ YOU--”

“What’d I do?” Merle asked.

“You said, uh, ‘on fleek,’” Barry offered.

“Ooooh,” he said, hiding a smile.  Better hang onto that one, say it again the next time the twins got too serious.  “Whoops.”

“--ANYWAY,” said Taako, glaring daggers at Merle.  “With the Dark Lord more and more likely to come back, I’ve been spending a lot more time with the Slytherins.  They’re... a lot of them are great. But they’re just stupid kids, y’know? I...”

“Aw, you miss us!” Lup crowed, touseling his hair.

He swatted her hands away.  “Well, not anymore I fuckin’ don’t!”

“Is everybody  _ else  _ doing okay?” asked Davenport, loudly, to be heard over the twins’ bickering.

“I’m good,” said Lucretia.  “House elves are settling in nicely, Lup ‘n’ I have been in to see them a couple of times.  My, um, the place I get, hm,  _ information _ is doing okay, too.  We’ve gotten some new people joining.  A few Slytherins that I didn’t think would be interested; some people from the other houses, too.”

Lup smiled at her girlfriend.  “Yep. Uh, it’s been pretty chill in the Gryff tower to be honest.  There’s some reporter running around, Rita Something? She’s an entire bitch, and  _ god  _ I want to sue her for libel.”

“Oh, can we do that?” asked Lucretia, eyes lighting up.  “Dav, please?”

Their captain sighed.  “How important is it for you to sue this reporter?”

The two girls made eye contact.  “ _ Very _ .”

He sighed again.  “Alright. Let us know before you burn down the justice system, okay, Lup?  And Lucretia?”

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t go completely revising their basic principles of government again.”

Barry frowned a little.  “Aw, but Capn’port, that was a fun cycle!”

“And I did make it a lot better,” Lucretia added.

“Barry?” said Davenport, trying desperately to change the subject.  “What’ve you been up to?”

“Oh, not much,” he replied, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.  “I’ve been working with Professor Vector, I’m working on refining the mathematics behind shield spells-- like, domes are the strongest shape, right?  So, uh, if you can make the shield spell fractal outwards into, well, pretty much infinite domes, then it’s a lot better at repelling spells--”

“Is that Common?” Merle wondered.

“What’ve you been doing, Merle?” asked Dav.

He shrugged.  “Not much. Helping Ced and Perce get ready for the next part of the Tournament.  It’s in the Black Lake.”

“What?” asked Lup.

“IT’S IN THE BLACK--”

“No, no, I heard that.”

“But  _ why  _ is it in the Black Lake?” Taako asked, almost horrified.  “You won’t be able to  _ see  _ anything.”

“Bad planning,” said Lucretia.  Barry hummed in agreement.


	11. Lily for Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the Triwizard Tournament.

The underwater task really was a bad idea.  Yeah, Merle got to sit up by the judges and other support panels-- but that only meant he had a slightly closer view of the water.

Very nice water. Black.  A couple patches of water plants growing free from the surface.

Percy hadn’t bothered to show up, which was weird, but Merle wouldn’t complain about less worrying.

At least, he didn’t think he’d need to.  But one of Harry’s support staff-- Neville Longbottom-- was doing a great job worrying.  Almost enough to make Merle wish Percy  _ had  _ showed up, just so he could listen to  _ different  _ worrying.

“What if the gillyweed doesn’t work?” Neville asked, face pink and staring out at the Black Lake as though that alone could draw the champions-- and whatever treasures they were recovering from within it-- to the surface.

Merle shrugged at him, but-- fuck!  Gillyweed was a good idea. Kid though Neville was, he was one of the best herbology students in all of Hogwarts.  Besides, of course, Merle himself.

“It should be fine, Nathan,” Merle reassured him.  “Gillyweed’s good for this sorta thing. Adds the blubber layer, too!  Insulation.”

“The-- the what?” asked Neville, looking over at him, before shaking his head a little bit.  “Wait, no, I know that. Um.”

“Harold’ll be just fine,” said Merle.  “Besides, would Dumbledore let him die out there?”

Neville’s ashen face told him that,  _ yes _ , he probably would.

“Would, uh...” he looked back at the cluster of teachers anxiously watching the lake.  “Would  _ McGonagall  _ let him die out there?”

“...probably not,” Neville admitted, and then glanced over at Merle.  “Are you not, er, worried about Cedric?”

Merle shrugged in his general direction.  “Eh, not really. He’ll take care of himself.”

Neville still looked dubious.  “I--”

“The lake!” shouted somebody from the stands behind them.

Like moths drawn to a flame, Merle and Neville looked below them at the dark and still water.

Well, dark water.  It was no longer still-- a series of ripples had begun, flowing outwards from the middle of the lake.

“Who is it?” called another student from the stands.

But the blonde head of hair gave it all away: Fleur.

She was bloodied and pale, and as a handful of merfolk pulled her from the lake, she fought tooth and nail to return to the water.

“That doesn’t look good,” Neville whispered as Fleur’s support staff raced off the bleachers and down to the beach to help her up.

Soon enough, she was forced into a medical tent, protesting all the while.

“The lake again!” someone shouted, and like dancers, they all looked to the Black Lake in unison.

This time, Merle didn’t need to ask who it was.  The bubble charm around the head, that popped once the swimmer reached the surface--

The limp body he dragged alongside him with flaming red hair--

“FUCK YEAH!” Merle shouted.

“Who is it?” asked Neville, squinting out at them.

“Ced and Perce!”

“Oh, nice!”

The two sevenths years in tandem swam for the stands together.  Merle cheered them along the whole way back.

Twenty-five points to Fleur, and her little sister shivering at her side.

Forty points to Krum, Hermione bundled in blankets and swarmed by the other fourth-year Gryffindors.

Forty-five points to Harry, level with Ron.

And forty-seven points to Cedric, holding hands with Percy.

Oh, alright.

Forty-seven points to Cedric,  _ kissing  _ Percy.  Merle wolf-whistled.

\---

“We’re building our case against Rita Skeeter,” said Lucretia at their next team meeting.  “Have you all seen her latest article?”

Taako sighed.  “It’s stupid, really.  Anybody with eyes can see that Hermione’s not really interested in  _ either  _ of them.”

“Wait, what?” asked Merle.  Lup tossed a copy of the  _ Witch Weekly  _ magazine across the table: it slid to a stop in front of him.

“Harry Potter’s Secret Heartache,” Lucretia told him.  Clumsily, Merle flipped through the slightly-scented, pink-colored pages until he came upon the article in question.

“ _ Really _ ?” asked Magnus, reading over Merle’s shoulder.  “‘Mione and  _ Harry _ ?”

“Exactly!” Taako agreed.  “And yeah she’s got something for Krum, that’s undeniable, but  _ fuck _ , if there’s anybody she’s crushing on it’s  _ Pansy _ .”

“ _ What _ ?” Lup asked, almost gleeful.

“Yeah,” Taako confided.  “I’ve seen the way they look at each other.  You should  _ see  _ them in Transfiguration--”

“I  _ do _ !” Lup protested.  “But they don’t--”

“Oh, come on,” he argued.  “You’re telling me you haven’t seen them glaring at each other over who can transfigure their beetle or whatever shit faster?  That’s  _ sexual tension  _ right there!”

Lup hummed a little. “Actually, I can kinda see your point.”

“And, oh gods, if I have to hear Pansy tell me  _ one more time  _ about how gay she is for Hermione I’m gonna let the Hunger vore this world.”

“Oh, did she--!”

“Please, can we get back to suing for libel?” interrupted Davenport, loudly.  And then, softer-- “I never thought I’d be saying that.”

Merle slung an arm around his shoulders.  “We’re rubbin’ off on you.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, quiet under the din of the frantic gossip and plotting session the rest of the team was in the middle of.  “But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“We could BURN HER!” Lup concluded, triumphant, hands alight.

Davenport sighed a little, leaning his head on Merle’s shoulder.  “Or, maybe I would. Lup?”

“Yeah, Dad’nport?” she asked, her hands extinguishing but still smoking a little bit.

“No burning people alive.”

“Burning people  _ dead _ ?” Lup questioned, hopeful.

\---

“We know what the third task is, thankfully,” said Cedric, a few weeks later when they met again to go over strategies for the Triwizard Tournament.  “It’s a maze. That’s what they’ve been growing out on the Quidditch field.”

Percy almost lit up with excitement.  “Merlin, there’s lots of spells we can learn for that--!”

“It’s growing right now?” Merle asked, interrupting him.

“Yep.”

“And it’s not magic?  It’s not gonna change?”

“...I don’t think so?”

He sighed.  “C’mon, let’s go out to the Quidditch Pitch.”

Grumbling aside, Merle led the hand-linked Percy and Cedric out of the castle and to the field.  He hopped over the stubby, growing plants, and poked around a bit, examining them. He came out with a grin on his face.

“Any great conclusions?” Percy asked.

“Absolutely,” Merle said.  “They’re not magic!”

“And... what does that mean for us?” Cedric ventured.

“It means you can map the maze right now,” he pointed out.  “And then bring your map in with you when you start. Or copy Harry and summon it from somebody who’s watching.”

Percy shook his head a little, a smile spreading across his face.  “You’re brilliant.”

“Thank you!” he grinned.  “C’mon, you two, let’s map this bad boy.  Yolo!”

Percy and Cedric visibly cringed, and Merle’s smile deepened.

\---

This time Percy and Merle watch together from the stands.  Cedric and Harry disappear into the thick, hedgerow maze in step.  A few seconds later, the map they’d made is summoned from Percy’s hand and flies above the Quidditch Pitch before plunging down into the foliage.

“Are you okay?” Merle asked Percy after a few minutes.

The redhead, paler than usual, just shook his head mutely.  “I... Divination’s not the best, you know? But I’m in it. It’s good to know what’s coming in the future, right?”

“Sure,” Merle agreed.  “What’s that got to do with anything?”

He sighed, looked down at the ground.  Kicked at a small pebble that had migrated onto the stands.  “Just... a bad feeling. That’s all.”

“Like, somethin’ you saw in a crystal ball?”

Percy shook his head. “Nothing that... dramatic.  Just... the feeling that something’s about to go really badly.”

Merle shrugged.  “Well, we did our part.”

“I-- what?”

“No matter what goes wrong,” said Merle, plowing ahead.  “Did you help Cedric learn all the spells you could fine?”

“Yes, but--”

“And did you help him map the maze?”

“Yes, but--”

“And did you two have a really fuckin’ good date last night in preparataion?”

“I-- how the  _ hell  _ do you know about that?”

Merle shrugged, smiling innocently.  It paid to be friends with Taako, the source of all Hogwarts’ good gossip.  “But, Paul, you did everything you could. You did everything you were expected to, and even more.  Anything that could possibly happen now... it’s out of your control. So you might as well not worry about it.”

Percy groaned, leaning forward on the railing and putting his head in his hands, staring at the maze.  “That doesn’t really help.”

Suddenly, a jet of red sparks flew out of the greenery.  Percy was upright in a flash. “I-- d’you think--”

But it wasn’t Cedric.  A few seconds later, the unconscious body of Viktor Krum levitated out of the maze, ashen.

“Oh Merlin,” Percy whispered.  “What’s  _ in  _ there?”

“It’s okay,” Merle said.  “It’s gonna be okay.”

When the world flashes white and Harry and Cedric are outside the maze, nothing is okay at all.

Because Harry is holding a trophy.

And he is bleeding.

And in his hand--

In his other hand, propped up against his shorter body and slowly slumping to the ground--

There, gone--

There,  _ dead _ \--

Is Cedric.

\---

Merle thought he knew grief, but as Percy howled and ran for his boyfriend, he raced after him.  He caught up to them, Harry whisked away to the castle, as Percy clutched Cedric’s body to his own, wailing.

He’d never known grief like this.

\---

They brought Fleur's unconcious body out of the maze, but unlike Cedric, she woke up.  Unlike Cedric, Merle did not attend her funeral, side by side with Percy, who cried only once and since then has not slept.

"Cedric Diggory," said Dumbledore at the closing speech.  "Was murdured by Lord Voldemort."

Fuck house tables-- Merle is sitting with the Gryffindors, with Percy, as they raise their glasses to toast the fallen Hufflepuff.  He did not cry, although his face was hard.  He made eye contact with Taako, who alongside the rest of the Slytherins, remained seated, defiant.

Merle could feel it in the air.

Cedric Diggory was gone.

And with his death, the fight begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy cow, everybody! That was a wild ride. Hopefully you enjoyed this :). The next part of this series will be out by the beginning of April-- keep an eye out!
> 
> If you've liked Merle's part, please leave a comments and a kudos! I'll see all you lovely folks in April!!

**Author's Note:**

> I love you guys! Thanks for reading!


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